Your High School Sweetheart

You’ve pulled up to the wedding venue in your black SUV. You park at the edge of the huddle of cars so you can make a quick escape if needed. You’ve dressed appropriately in your black suit and black tie. You prepare to watch your high school sweetheart walk down the aisle with a man who’s not you, and you do the only thing a person in your position can do: a shot of Johnny Walker Blue straight from the monogrammed silver flask you received as a groomsman’s gift. That’s right. You’ve found yourself in the ultimate conundrum. Your best friend is marrying a woman who you’ve harbored what you assume is an unrequited love for since you can remember.

A Pivotal Role

You feel happy for the couple because they seem bent on setting out on this journey together, but you feel sorry for yourself because, obviously, you can’t spend your life with the person you love most. Ambivalent feelings aside, you’ve committed to supporting them in an official capacity as a groomsman, and you have a responsibility to deliver a toast. Given your pivotal role in their nuptials, you’ve decided to go with personalized wedding glassware as your gift to them on this hallmark day in their relationship.

Without a Hitch

The wedding proceeds without a hitch; her grandfather officiates, the couple proceeds triumphantly up the aisle, and the first dance rituals begin. It’s time for your big moment, and reinforced by the numbing effects of one of the finest Scotch whiskies ever to burble over ice, you stand to deliver what can only be described as carefully-crafted fibs in the form of well wishes to the happy couple. You pause for moment to admire the delicate etching on the bride’s and groom’s champagne flutes, courtesy of your good taste and generosity. You assure yourself that you went the right way with your choice of script and the inclusion of the bride’s and groom’s names, accompanied by the date of their nuptials.

Happy Ending

You take a deep breath and prepare to launch into your toast. In the end, you just can’t do it, and you mumble a few congratulatory words before blurting out your undying love for the bride. A stunned silence ensues, during which time you retreat to your SUV. As you’re pulling away for the quick getaway you anticipated earlier in the day, you catch a glimpse of white from the corner of your eye. That’s right! It’s your high school sweetheart, personalized wedding glassware in hand, is chasing you down to join you. It seems as though this story has a happy ending after all, although you’re now leaving town with someone else’s wife. Semantics. You’ll figure out the details later. For now, enjoy the day.

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